August 4, 2003

When was the last time you calculated how long it takes to get out of bed, brush your teeth, shower, and eat breakfast? Do you remember the last time you had to ask someone to help you with these daily activities? Think hard. Seriously, when was the last time you had to ask for help in combing your hair, taking a shower, getting out of bed, sitting upright or even turning a quarter inch to your left?

Last week I spent a week volunteering at a camp for developmentally disabled adults and found myself struck by such a feeling of gratitude that I had to write about it. First of all, I went to camp to fill up my days with something meaningful and actually I thought I was just grasping at more straws. I am unemployed and unsure of what to do next and thought this would be a way of exploring alternatives and "giving back."

Instead, I learned more about life and gratitude than in any self-improvement book, growth seminar or anything else for that matter. I actually spent 24/7 with a woman (about my age) that needed help with every conceivable human function and had absolutely no choice to help her self. She has a progressive, genetic neuromuscular disorder similar to muscular dystrophy. It is called Friedrich’s Ataxia. She was diagnosed at 7 years old and is now 30. Every single second of the day she is consumed with the simple task of trying to sit upright in her wheelchair (she recently lost control of her trunk functions) and has no muscular ability in her legs left, diminishing control in her arms, etc.

Is this starting to sound depressing yet? Don’t bother with that. If anything, this young woman is a model of strength, fortitude and encouragement. I have never witnessed anything like this in my life.

At first I thought this is just an act. How can someone in such discomfort be so cheery, content and dare I say "happy?" When you look in her eyes it is there. When you catch her off guard it is there. When you question her it is there. It is at her core. It is a deep faith, a love of God, a love of life and a sincere gratitude for her own existence (despite the harshness of her disability). There is no self-pity, no anger, no cynicism and absolutely no contempt for those around her who aren’t disabled. It is a wonder.

Who needs a brick hitting them on the side of there head to realize that less is more and the constant competitive struggles of our modern day culture is fruitless (not to mention emotionally raw?) I did. This young, beautiful woman loves herself, life and accepts it all. So why can’t I.

What can an adult learn at camp on their "Summer Vacation?"
I learned never not look at a person in wheelchair again. I will say hello and realize their struggle, and be grateful for my abilities. I will not pity them but perhaps salute their ambition to carry on. I will forever be mindful that this could happen to me the next time I take my next breath. I will remember that some caring person thought of me and invited me to volunteer and it gave me the chance to meet one of the finest people I have ever known. I am truly living in a spirit of gratitude. Thank you.

Written by:
Donna
Dumont, New Jersey